Phoebe's Philip came to life after years of walking through the loss of babies with so many friends that I love dearly.One specific story of loss from a friend who had 3 beautiful children and ended up losing a 4th to miscarriage. As she told me how she thought about him everyday and it had been a year. She really had no idea it would be as painful as it was. She missed a baby she had never really met in medical terms but in spiritual terms I believe we meet those babies the second they are conceived. They were actually waiting to tell the girls until they were in the "clear". She ended up telling them after they lost the baby.The first words out of Phoebe's mouth was "His name was Philip." As I stood there crying for my friend I felt a sense from The Lord that his name was Philip and he was waiting for them. He was beautiful and healthy. A glowing rambunctious kiddo.
The stories of hope lost is absolutely heart wrenching. The words others bring into the pain trying to help only digs a deeper hole of isolation for the one who has lost.I can see why it is a lonely pain. Women tend to feel shame if they a mourn a baby while having healthy children. Some times we say things like maybe something was wrong or maybe the baby is better off. Women don't speak of the pain they still experience years down the road when they still think of that baby everyday. What she would've smelled like or his little giggle. Even writing this, never have gone through this kind of loss, I have a little boy of my own and I am in tears thinking things could have been different.
But then I had a client and very dear friend who saw the silver lining in the midst of the darkness. Questions ,so many questions of why. There really weren't any answers but a sense of Peace. The Lord had given her words of love and restoration through Poppies. Words of restoration instead of the why's that can truly decimate a life.
I began to look for art work that can speak hope and love into the loss babies and children. I thought I could bring light into the darkness well The Lord is the giver of light and life. He has given me the ability to paint and create. So Phoebe's Philip was born out of brokenness. A symbol of restoration and hope. Every child matters. Ask a mom who has lost one unwillingly. Guaranteed she would give her life for theirs. For a baby she never held but carried, never watched fall asleep but probably sang to him every night after he was conceived, never kissed his warm head but dreamt of it for years... so I wanted a place for people who loved deeply but didn't have the words for their friends to be able to come and give a gift of hope and I'm here. I know you're hurting and I'm here. I see your heart is broken and I'm here. Even years down the road...I am here.